Oh please, can you believe Hillary Clinton, seriously, what kind of loser goes in for that level of data housekeeping? Fine, I know you liked her, but if you ask me, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who take their online security seriously, and ancient, technologically illiterate throwbacks who deserve only our pity. Well, can you imagine her picking her nuclear codes password – hey, how about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero, then adding an ! and an & to make it more Bletchley? No, wait, it was probably Rodham1, like she uses for all her online shopping, just so she’d never forget it if she had to bomb North Korea. Actually, I don’t know why she didn’t just write them a letter: “Dear Kim, in case you were interested, my top secret password is PASSWORD123, your friend, Hillary.”
Mind, she did us a favour really, most people I know, we went home, changed every single password. Well, I’ve over 100, good password practice means a different one for each site, right, otherwise you might as well put a huge sign on your door saying, PLEASE ROB ME, I DESERVE IT. Course I don’t know them all, cybersecurity 101, if you can remember all your passwords, either you haven’t got enough or they’re too easy, do you know what the most common password is, literally, 123456? Seriously, you’re kidding me? Quick, you’ve got to change it, all of them – God, don’t tell me they’re all the same. Get some proper ones.
Well, I’d like to help, except then I’d __have to kill you, haha, no, basically, you go with a password manager, which is what I did until LastPass got hacked? No? Well, forget it, now I’ve gone for military-grade VPN encryption and changing all my passwords and security questions every other day, it only takes a couple of hours, but for simple password hygiene, start with two-step verification – well, because if not, you might as well take all your money, build a huge bonfire and burn it. See, I log in, then it’ll send a code to my phone – wait, Christ, where is my phone?
